Death Be Not Proud
by Inwe Tasartir
Summary: I watched the fire knowing full well that every bit of my soul was burning in it. HanOC.
1. Life In a Nutshell

**Death Be Not Proud**

**Inwe Tasartir**

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee  
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,  
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,  
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.  
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,  
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,  
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,  
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.  
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,  
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,  
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,  
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;  
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,  
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Sonnet 72

John Donne

**Chapter One: Life In a Nutshell**

Four years ago my father left my mother, my brother, and me so that he could go live in Tokyo, Japan. He had fallen in love with the country while there on post for the army and had wanted to live there permanently. My mom wouldn't make the move, so after a lot of arguing he packed his bags and left. Then, we live in Louisville (pronounced Lu-uh-vull all you non-Southerners), Kentucky, living the ordinary, dull Southern farm life.

My twin brother, Sean, and I thought, for the first year at least, that our father would regret the choice he made and catch the next flight back home to us. But we soon learned that life doesn't always have a fairy tale ending. In fact, it's often cruel and horrific even when you've done nothing to deserve it. I learned that the hard way then and was slowly getting used to the idea as the years went by.

After that first year of wishing, hoping, and listening to our mother cry night after night, Sean started to change. I knew he was angry at our father and was trying to find an outlet to vent, I myself choose to spend more time at the dance studio. But he chose the wrong outlet in everyway. Sean turned to racing.

I guess I'm to blame as well. I was never home and I was so wrapped up in my own anger that I didn't even notice the strange way he had been acting. When he finally told me I never tried to talk him out of it. I just figured that it was a phase that he was going through that would eventually pass with time. Then, one night, Sean took it too far.

My mom and I had been cooking dinner when we got the phone call. Sean had been racing when one wrong turn landed him inside the grocery store. Luckily no one had been killed and Sean made it with only a broken leg and a few cuts and bruises. But my mother's reputation in town had been killed. She couldn't go anywhere without people whispering behind her back so she decided to move. We promptly packed our bags and moved to Woodbridge, New Jersey. We lived there for about a year before Sean got into trouble for racing along Rahway Avenue. Since then, we've lived in Albany, New York (too cold there for my liking), Tampa, Florida, and sunny California. All in the past two years.

Now, because of his latest escapade in the Shangri-La Estates, my mom kicked us out of the house. So here we are, on a plane headed for Tokyo to live with my father…This should be interesting.

AN: Hey, thanks for making it through the first chapter. I've decided to ditch my King Arthur story and start this (which I am determined to stick through cause it was my New Year's resolution). I'm ending my King Arthur story simply because I didn't have enough time to work on it and ended up losing all inspiration for it during that period. This is the hardest year I've ever had in schooling (I've already broken down crying twice and mouthed off to a teacher, which I never do. Granted the man is an ass and he was the one who made me cry.) and at the same time I was doing our school play (which started at 6pm and ended at 12) so every night I was getting home at 12:30 and I can't drive so I had to stay at school the entire time. I practically lived there. So I'm really sorry about that. I won't completely trash the story though, instead I'll update from time to time whenever inspiration strikes. I really am sorry.

どうも　ありがちお。

Inwe Tasartir.


	2. He's Not Coming

**Death Be Not Proud**

**Inwe Tasartir**

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee  
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,  
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,  
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.  
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,  
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,  
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,  
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.  
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,  
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,  
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,  
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;  
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,  
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Sonnet 72

John Donne

Chapter 2: He's Not Coming

We boarded the plane for Tokyo at 3 in the afternoon on the sixth of October. Within minutes of the plane taking off, my little sister (so what if she's only younger than me by five minutes?), Bayleigh, fell asleep on my shoulders, her raven hair covering her dark blue eyes. We were in for a long trip and I'm sure that sleeping now would help to alleviate some of the jetlag I knew we were going to experience after landing in Tokyo.

I entertained the idea of falling asleep too, but all thoughts of sleep were quickly shot down, there were a million thoughts running through my head and I knew I wouldn't be able to. Well, that and the screaming baby sitting behind us.

It was all my fault we were on this plane getting ready for the biggest move of our lives. There, I said it; some of the guilt in my conscience has been relieved for a moment. It was my fault that Bayleigh had to drop everything for the third time in two years, that she had to leave behind her friends, her dancing, and her life. It was my entire fault.

But I had to hand it to her, not once had she complained, yelled at me, or given me the cold shoulder. Whenever mom told her that we were moving again she would simply put a big smile on her face and tell me that she always wanted to see the world and what better time to do it than now. That just succeeded in making me feel even guiltier because I could see that she was just putting up a front, trying to remain positive even though it killed her to leave everything behind again. I also knew that the last thing she had wanted to do was live with that ass we were both forced to call "dad."

I begged my mother to let Bay stay with her until she finished her senior year in high school there in California, she didn't need to be punished for my actions. But my mother had already made up her mind, she said that it would be good for Bayleigh to meet new people. In my own selfish way I agreed with her. I knew that leaving her behind in America would break my heart because I wouldn't be there to protect her and watch over her everyday. But I still failed to see how moving Bay across the world and into our father's house would do any good for her.

My father. That was another issue all in itself. After four years, I was going to have to live with the same man that had left us at the drop of a dime to go fulfill his own selfish dreams. I can attribute the way I am now to him. Though it is mostly my fault, I got in with the wrong people at the wrong time. Doesn't mean I still can't hate him for hurting my family, right?

ときょ、にほんご

The plane landed about seventeen hours later. Bayleigh slept through most of the flight only getting up for a few hours before falling asleep again. I, however, spent the flight thinking about Clay and Cindy…

あめりか

"Nice ride."

I had been packing my stuff into the passenger seat of the car when I heard her voice. Bayleigh was staying after school for a meeting so I was going to go home, drop off my stuff, and come back for her later.

I turned around to face the owner of the voice. It was Cindy, Clay's cheerleader girlfriend. I had heard the sarcasm in her voice but decided to grace her with an answer anyway.

"It does the job."

"What job? Delivering pizza?

I just smiled and said, "It's not the ride, it's the rider." She must have understood what I meant because she smiled back and gave me the once over.

"What the hell's that?"

An angry voice suddenly interrupted us. I looked past Cindy's shoulder to see Clay who was looking very pissed off.

"You talking to my girl?"

I stood up straight.

"Well, she was just admiring my ride."

Clay let out an amused scoff.

"My grandma's Buick could smoke that piece of shit, trailer trash."

I looked over at the car he was driving.

"What about Daddy's Viper?" maybe I didn't have to go home after all. I could keep myself occupied like this for the next twenty minutes.

"This beast's got 500 horse power, a broiler exhaust system. It does 0 to 60 in like 4.3 seconds." He looked over to his friends for approval. They were all laughing so he put a stupid grin on his face that screamed "ass." I, however, was not impressed at all. What he just said only proved that he had read the same car magazine I had.

"Wow, you can read the brochure." I said, sarcasm dripping off of my words. I got into my car and had started to drive away when something came crashing through my window. That yuppie piece of shit threw a baseball through my window! I looked back in shock and thanked any god that would listen that Bay was not in the car. Immediately I grabbed the wrench off of my dashboard and angrily got out of the car being sure to slam the car door.

We stood squaring each other off. I was playing with the wrench in my hand and he was flexing his fingers, eager to throw a punch. Then Cindy stepped between us.

"Why don't you nice boys let your cars do the talking?" I instantly smiled. That had to have been the smartest stupid idea I'd ever heard come out of her mouth.

"I only race for pink slips." I informed Clay. He looked at me incredulously.

"This car goes for 80 grand. What would I do with a broken ass piece of shit like that?" I heard his friends laugh again. Why was Clay so sure he was going to win? I stared him down until Cindy came up with another proposal.

"How about me?" I grinned as I made my way to my car again and followed the rowdy crowd of teenagers to the Shangri-La Estates.

I never did pick Bayleigh up from school.

ときょ、にほんご

"We could just get a cab."

"No Sean, he said he would be here."

"If he was going to be here he would have come an hour ago bay." I said angrily. I looked down at her and instantly felt the guilt well up inside of me. She looked like her dog had just been run over by a truck. I wanted to hit our father for not keeping his promise.

At that same exact moment a red car, which I assumed was a taxi, opened its door for us. I reached down and grabbed our luggage hauling it to the car. I noticed that Bay wasn't next to me and looked back. She was standing on the curb defiantly staring at me with her arms crossed. I sighed and walked over to her gently saying, "He's not coming."

With those t here simple words she let her head drop and she silently walked over to the car defeated. I got in after her and gave the driver the address. Thankfully he understood enough English to get the address or I'm sure we would have been lost.

We sat most of the ride in uncomfortable silence. Bayleigh wouldn't look over at me and from the way she sniffled every so often I knew she was crying. By the end of the ride I was livid and I knew that once we got there I was going to have to show a whole lot of restraint.


	3. Confrontation

**Death Be Not Proud**

**Inwe Tasartir**

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee  
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,  
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,  
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.  
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,  
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,  
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,  
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.  
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,  
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,  
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,  
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;  
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,  
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Sonnet 72

John Donne

**Chapter 3: Confrontation**

We arrived at the shack (that's what I'm calling it it's too small to deserve the name apartment) about an hour later. Throughout the entire ride Bayleigh didn't talk to me but she had at least stopped crying which helped to calm me down a little bit.

I couldn't stand to see my sister upset, it made me go into over-protective brother mode and I was ready to kick anyone's ass for her. Usually my sister was happy and bubbly, although lately I was beginning to wonder if it was just a front that she put up to make everything seem okay. To be honest with you, I really hadn't been paying much attention to her in the past three years.

I was brought back to reality when Bayleigh knocked on the door of the shack. For the first few minutes all we heard was rustling at the other side of the door. It was obvious he was home and I was beginning to get impatient waiting for him.

Finally the door partially opened and my father stuck his head out. He looked surprised to see us.

"Sean? Bayleigh? I thought you guys were going to be here on the seventh." I fought the urge to roll my eyes at him.

"Today _is_ the seventh." I informed him sarcastically.

His eyes widened and he looked briefly inside then looking back at us as if unsure of what to do. Finally he said, "Well, look just hold on for one second."

With that he disappeared back inside and kept us waiting another minute. With each passing second I grew more worried about Bay, she was being unusually quiet.

The door opened again and my father stepped out nervously moving from foot to foot. If I didn't know any better I would say that shamed filled his eyes as he looked over at us. He looked over his shoulder and beckoned someone toward us. From behind him came a woman. Her hair was a mess and the lipstick she had been previously wearing was all over her face. It was clear what they had been doing prior to us showing up. My father helped her put on her coat and invited us into the shack when she had walked away.

"You know guys, I was gonna be there but you mom, she said the seventh see, and we're a day ahead of you in Japan…" he trailed off when Bayleigh gave him a look that clearly accused him of trying to pass the blame off to someone else. "Well," he continued, "you two are here now and that's good."

There was a slight pause as we all tried to think of something to say. My father spoke up again. "So, how is your mom?"

That was strike two. After four years, _now_ he wanted to know how my mother was? If he truly cared about her health he would have picked up the phone somewhere between four years ago and now and asked her himself.

"Where do I sleep?" I asked quickly changing the subject before I got angrier.

"Now Sean, you know she had no other choice. I mean, it was this or juvi hall. I mean you can't just keep moving away every time you get into trouble."

There, we were finally confronting the issue at hand. I was going to handle this like the mature person I was.

"It worked for you."

I could see the aggrieved look on his face as I said it. It was about time he started paying for the pain he caused us.

"What about me?" For the first time in over an hour Bayleigh spoke up, making me jump slightly because I had almost forgotten that she was there. Her face was contorted with anger and I knew that everything she had held bottled up inside was starting to come out.

"Why did she send me jet setting across the world to another country? Huh? I didn't do anything wrong!" I could see that her eyes were brimming with unshed tears and guilt washed over me once again.

"Look, none of us asked for this. She was just doing what she thought was right and she didn't feel right separating the both of you. I promised your mom I'd take care of you two. So just go by the rules her and I agreed to and I'm sure you'll manage just fine." He said sighing. I just looked at him like he had sprouted three additional heads.

"Rules?"

He answered my question with a dirty look and kept talking.

"Yeah, rules. Real simple. You go to school and you come back here right after. Sean, I don't wasn't to see or hear about you going anywhere near a car. Bayleigh, you are not to lie or cover up for him under any circumstances." With that he sighed and I swore he looked older than his 45 years. He walked to the other side of the shack and opened a door.

"This room is yours Bay." As soon as he said that I picked up her luggage and brought it over looking into the room with mixed feelings. The "room" was no bigger than a walk-in closet but at least I didn't have to hear someone constantly telling her to clean her room. There wasn't enough room for a mess!

Once she was situated he turned and opened the door next to hers.

"Here, this bedroom is yours. Make yourself comfortable. Lights out in ten. Make sure you get your sister up tomorrow morning."


	4. Owabaki and Sushi

**Death Be Not Proud**

**Inwe Tasartir**

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee  
Mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not so,  
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,  
Die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me.  
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures bee,  
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,  
And soonest our best men with thee doe go,  
Rest of their bones, and souls deliverie.  
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,  
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,  
And poppie, or charms can make us sleep as well,  
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;  
One short sleep past, wee wake eternally,  
And death shall be no more; **death, thou shalt die**.

Sonnet 72

John Donne

**Chapter Four: Owabaki and Sushi**

Sean woke up around 5:30 the next morning and handed me a uniform and a note from dad. The note read, "Train to school leaves at 0700."

I crumpled the note in my hand and threw it on the floor. Groaning, I rolled back over and tried to fall back asleep. I figured that it had to be about 2 in the morning back home (since there's about a fourteen hour difference between us). It was way too early to be up and fully functioning at the same time. In fact, I had almost fallen back asleep when Sean busted into my room nearly scaring the life out of me.

"We have to leave in ten minutes for the train Bay. Get up." He said hurriedly pulling me out of the bed. I looked over at the clock. It read that it was around six in the morning. We still had another hour before the train left. "Can't dad give us a ride to the train station?" I asked.

"He's not here." That made me wake up a little more. I was starting to panic. He couldn't have left us already? Right?

"What do you mean he's not here?" I mentally kicked myself for letting the panic show in my voice. I knew he had heard it when he looked at me worriedly. Poor Sean was probably already feeling guilty especially after my little outburst last night.

"He just went to work Bay. He left us a note giving us directions to the train station and which train to board." I calmed down a little and shoved Sean out of the room so I could get dressed. Walking the two steps it took to get to the other side, I grimaced as I picked up my new uniform. Never in my life had I ever worn one and now here before me was a blue and white. I had seen the same uniform in so many movie and cartoon but had never thought I would wear one.

I got dressed as fast as I could and went to the living area. I took one look at Sean and almost started laughing. My uniform wasn't nearly as bad as his. He looked extremely uncomfortable as he walked around stiffly clearly not used to the outfit. Suddenly he turned around and took a look at my outfit. He groaned and said, "That's not as bad as mine," making me erupt into a fit of giggles.

"Shut up," he said angrily and stormed out the door. I laughed harder grabbing a muffin as I ran trying to catch up with him.

We reached the train station a half an hour later and encountered a major problem as neither of us spoke or read a word of Japanese. None of the signs were in English and we had yet to encounter someone who spoke our language.

"What are we going to do Sean?" I asked scared that we were going to end up lost in the middle of Tokyo.

"The best we can Bay." He sounded irritated by the whole situation and I didn't want to irritate him further so I kept the rest of my comments to myself. We stood in silence for a few moments trying to decipher the words on the machine. Finally Sean sighed angrily and pounded on the machine.

"Maybe we can find a phone and call him?" I asked softly. He scoffed at me and replied, "One problem Seafoam," he said turning to me, "he didn't bother to leave us a number."

"Maybe he doesn't have a phone Big Bird." I said him annoyed by the nickname he had given me when we were five years old and retaliated with one of my own.

"Oh, stop sticking up for him Bay," He said angrily and I swore I heard a bit of a growl in his voice, "You know damn well that it didn't even cross his mind to leave us a phone number in case we got lost. You know I bet you that he secretly hopes that we'll get lost so that he'll never have to see us again. He doesn't give two shits about us Bay. He never did then and never will now."

He had so much anger and malice in his voice that I couldn't help but to shrink away and give a tiny nod.

"Sorry." I said quietly, turning to the paper dad had left for us with the instructions on how to get to school. I heard him sigh and out of the corner of my eye, watched him turn back to the machine.

"I think this one's it Bay," Sean said startling me out of my quasi-concentration, "At least, it kind of looks the same as the one on the paper." He finished sounding slightly unsure.

"Only one way to find out." I said and with that he pushed the button and grabbed the two tickets as they came out.

It turned out that we did take the wrong train. Luckily, the conductor spoke English and was able to guide us in the right direction. We arrived at school an hour late. It took us awhile to find our classroom and when we did we walked right into the middle of a lesson. The teacher was a nice lady, though she didn't speak a word of English. I was struggling to make it through the lesson and caught myself nodding off a few times. On the plus side I did learn the Japanese word for slippers.

Two hours later (an incredibly long and excruciating two hours mind you), the bell rang for lunch. As soon as the bell rang Sean shot up and started packing his stuff. I merely shook my head and remarked, "You're moving mighty fast for someone who was asleep just two seconds ago."

"I wasn't sleeping Seafoam," he said in a huff, "I was just resting my eyes."

I just laughed and said teasingly, "Whatever you say Big Bird." With that I tossed my hair back and flounced out the door. He followed right behind me.

"So," he said, grabbing my books out of my hands, "Where do we go?"

I looked down at the map of the school that the principal had given us when we had arrived reading the words that he had scrawled down in English.

"This way." I said, turning left and grabbing the backpack from Sean's shoulder.

We got to the cafeteria a few minutes later. I stopped in the middle of the doorway overwhelmed with noise and the smell of fish. I only started moving a second later when Sean pushed me forward toward the line. Never in my life had I seen food like the kind I was staring at now. It was the most bizarre arrangement of food I had ever seen. I tried looking for something normal. I ended up with rice and sushi.

We managed to find seats at the other side of the room. We were somewhere in the middle of the table. Sean was on one side I was on the other. I was in the middle of taking a bite and Sean was examining something purple at the end of his chopsticks when someone came up to us.

"Japanese food is like the army," he said taking a sea next to Sean and sliding his backpack on the table, "Don't ask, don't tell. Name's Twinkie." He looked between us for a moment as if he was expecting an answer. After an awkward pause he kept talking. "Hey, I noticed you two ain't got laptops." With that Sean turned to him.

"Yeah?" Twinkie noticeably perked up and got more excited now that he had Sean's attention.

"I'll hook you up. Half price."

"No, I'm cool." Sean stated, turning back to his food.

"What about you princess? Fifty percent. It's a good deal." Twinkie said looking over at me. I stood quiet hoping Sean would tell him to go away. I wasn't that good at meeting new people. I'm more the shy, open up to you type of person.

"She ain't interested either." Sean answered for me and I gave a slight sigh of relief sending a grateful smile his way. You have love the twin vibes.

"Sixty percent off," Twinkie said not giving up on the potential sale. "Since we're all army brats and everything."

"We ain't got no cash man," Sean replied aggravated. "And we ain't army brats."

"Alright, alright." He said putting his hands up in defeat. He stood silent for a moment as Sean and I continued our eating. "What about a cell phone? Everybody needs a cell phone."

I couldn't help but laugh thinking of the donkey in that Shrek movie one of my friends had made me see a few years ago. However, he seemed to be getting on Sean nerves with every statement coming out of his mouth. Yeah, they made the perfect Shrek and donkey. I decided then and there that those were their new nicknames.

"No offense," Sean said irritated, "but I'm probably not gonna be here long enough to remember your name." As soon as those words left his mouth I glared at him. he better not fuck up again. I was not going to move for him again. He looked to me apologetically making me soften a little bit.

"Then you're gonna need some new shoes to book town with man," Twinkie said completely undeterred by Sean's remark. He put his bag on the table. "You like Michael Jordan? I love Michael Jordan. Check this out." He pulled out a pair of red shoes. "Not even out yet. LeBron James couldn't even get his hands on those." Sean wasn't even looking at the shoes.

"You selling that Sparco steering wheel?"

"Sean." I said quietly. He looked over at me and I shook my head and mouthed 'No.' He just shrugged and looked back over at Twinkie.

"Hell no." Twinkie said and I never loved him more than that moment. "That's mine right there. Man, I even paid retail for it."

"What you drive?" Sean asked him now more interested in the conversation than he had been before. Meanwhile, I was getting angrier by the second.

"Oh, my ride?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, my ride's one of a kind." He said sounding like a father whose son had just won the Olympics.

"Show me." With those words I threw down my chopsticks and angrily stared at Sean. He glanced over at me briefly before turning back to Twinkie.

"Thought you weren't sticking around," he said looking amused. Sean just shrugged in response. "Alright, but first I need to know your names," he said giving me a wink. I didn't have a good feeling about this.


End file.
